What Bill really meant:

1) Do you think Adam from ACK Software Controls, as a single person, is capable enough to create reliable OS4 compatible hardware?

We have no idea about his abilities, and we really don't have a clue about any hardware being developed.

2) Do you have any contact with ACube or Troika regarding new hardware?

Who?

3) Is there any hope of OS4 capable hardware released in 2007?

Yes, the plan is to release OS4 capable hardware and OS4 in 20007.

4) Is there any hope for and OS4 licence for Elbox?

Who?

5) Why don't you license/start selling Acube's Mac port of OS4 (project Moana)?

Yes, we talked about this and we agreed that indeed I need to meet Moana and take her out for dinner. I have been told that she is a really nice lady. I don't know about the other stuff...

6) Why is not OS4 for Sam worked out yet? Regardless of the trial I guess both Hyperion and Amiga Inc. wants Amiga OS4 to be sold for that platform, or? So why wait?

Again, once I meet Moana if things don't work out between us then I might try dating Sam, even though I haven't been introduced to her yet but these are private matters…

7) What kind of hardware will OS5 be designed for?

OS5 doesn't exist, you idiots! It's just some smoke to keep you lot happy, and it seems to be working quite well!

8) Why couldn't you licence Individual Computers Amiga 500 clone Projetc A? ( It seems like a product that could generate a lot of revenue. Just look at the success of the C64 DTV)

Who?

Software:

9) Are there any plans for further development of Amiga OS4 if you're able to obtain the source codes?

Amiga intend to do absolutely nothing about everything, why are you guys so thick?

10) Is Amiga OS4 for mobile, set top boxes or other devices planned?

Dear Lord! Which part of "do absolutely nothing" don't you understand?

11) Is Amiga OS4 for x86 planned or of interest?

Yes, we have been porting OS4 to x86 for some years now and we can happily say that it's in the final testing stages, if all goes well we might be able to demonstrate it in two weeks.

12) Amiga OS4 is working pretty well in it's current state, and the main problem at the moment is a severe lack of serious developers to create modern software. For instance web browsers, email clients, ftp clients, office software, video editing, sound editing, games, and so on. Do Amiga Inc. have any plans to support development groups or hire people to get these things fixed/done?

Not at the moment, we are concentrating in proving the theory of flying pigs, once that is out of the way, we might be able to support developers in creating more modern software, but for the moment we feel it's more important to prove that pigs CAN actually fly.

13) If Amiga Inc. is unable to secure OS4 from Hyperion, will the new Amiga OS5 be totally different from OS4, and will it be able to run OS3.x and OS4.x applications?

OS 5 details will be more public in the 4th quarter of 20007.

14) What efforts will Amiga put in place to ENSURE that any transition of ownership will not hinder development and testing of OS4?

Not quite sure that I understand the meaning of the word "efforts".

15) If you do secure OS4 sources, will you include parts of OS4 in OS5?

We want to continue working with the OS 4 team and make sure those b******s do exactly what we say!

16) You've claimed earlier that OS5 will be better than Mac OS X. Can you tell us in what way?

Yes...better much better than OS X. OS5 is so advanced that you don't need to see it, or touch it, or install it or actually use it. OS 5 will redefine the world of computers. It'll be totally transparent to the user, as if it never existed!

17) Could you give us some information, tell us about some of the features, and what the current status of OS5 is?

OS 5 is ahead of schedule, maybe too far ahead. I actually believe that we might have to slow the development down a bit, to give OS X a chance.

18) Where is the OS5 development team located, and how many people are working on the project?

The current team members are one in California, one in Washington, one in Michigan, one in England, one in New Zealand, one in Germany and one in Canada. Oh no I have just been informed that the Canadian member has committed suicide…

19) Will OS5 be a completly independent OS, or will it be hosted on some other platform?

OS5 will be anywhere you need it so for example if you are making yourself soup in the kitchen and the microwave suddenly stops working all you will have to do is THINK OS5 and the microwave will magically start working again. OS 5 has been tested successfully on almost any device you could think of; fridges, electric razors, coffee machines, gas central heating...OS 5 is far more advanced than anything you have ever used, the magic word here is THINK.

20) When will there be a SDK for Amiga OS5?

There is no such a thing, OS 5 will be able to develop itself, a totally developer indipendent OS.

21) How many people work at Amiga Development India, and is this company used at all for development of Amiga OS or Amiga related software development?

We currently have no idea of what you mad people are talking about so I will just pick a number.....erm....176…for you guys in the U.K. “That’s Numberwang!”

22) What is the status of Amiga Anywhere and the situation with Tao?

Amiga Anywhere had a few copyright problems and had to be renamed to Amiga Nowhere To Be Seen. We expect to have the new Amiga Nowhere To Be Seen available in the next 30 years for public use and development.

Business:

23) What do you think will be gained by spending $10 million on the Kent Events Center?

What were we thinking!? No way I am going to pay $10 million, are you nuts?

24) Wouldn't it be better to spend the kent center money on end-user product development, or to resolve the issue with Hyperion, for instance by buying the whole company?

Look, I know perfectly well how to spend money! At the moment it's in a safe place I only know about. So no need to worry.

25) Discreet FX offered a while ago to buy Amiga Inc, is Amiga Inc for sale if the right price is offered?

Yes, yes. Amiga is always for sale, anyone interested?........Please!

26) Can you tell us anything about your investors (Is their focus on OS4/OS5 or something else)?

Investors? Ah yes.......investors.....let me come back to you on that....later....

27) How do you respond to the questions regarding your integrity that have been raised in the local press such as the Seattle Times and the Kent Reporter?

I really don't care about what people say…those f*****g b******s!

28) In the era of the Mac mini, iPhone, $100 laptop, and Efika, what innovative products can Amiga Inc. bring to the information technology market?

You must be joking, we don't have anything mate! Nothing, nada, niente, zero!

29) How will you get your products into mainstream computer stores?

Either by pigeon carrier or by teletransportation, it will all depends on the costs but really Amiga has got no plans about new products please leave us alone......please.

30) What is Pentti Kouri's business strategy with Amiga, Inc.? Was he the driving force behind the naming rights deal with the city of Kent?

Who?

31) Do you have any contact with the current Commodore company?

No, they don't want anything to do with us, they said that if we try to contact them again they’ll shoot us! Can you blame them?

Lawsuit:

32) If Amiga/ITEC wins the lawsuit, how will you get access to parts of the sourcecode owned by the Friedens and external developers which are not included in the OS4-contract?

We don't know. Any ideas, suggestions?

33) Do you think the trial could be solved this year, or is this something that could drag out for years?

Our strategy is to make it last as long as possible, the Friedens will soon have to eat and sleep those b******s!

34) Is everything on hold until the trial is over?

Oh for goodness sake! NOTHING EVER STARTED!

35) Could you please elaborate how the expected returns from OS4 for a tiny niche market justify spending tens of thousands of dollars on a lawsuit?

No. I don't want to. How do I switch this damn thing off!?

36) How could you announce hardware availability in "Summer 2007" without having access to OS4-sources and with the knowledge that you start a complaint/lawsuit against Hyperion?

Why is everyone against me? What have I ever done to you guys?

Other:

37) Is fleecy moss still actively involved with amiga inc?

Yes, the last time I checked (on Tuesday….2001)…

38) When can we expect any new announcements?

Well, every time you want me to announce something just let me know and I will.

39) Will we see a return to Amiga being able to sponsor and attend Amiga shows in the UK & EU ?

Yes, I like pies too.

40) How do feel about making Amiga OS 1.0 to 3.1 Open Source?

No way! Unless you are prepared to pay, I might just as well put them on ebay, on a 7 days listing.

Final notes – When we started our work as a team in 2000 we had many great plans. Now it's all gone pear shaped and we have no idea how to get out of this mess.
Products have been delayed. We used a lot of imagination. Imagination is our main strength; we imagine things and hope that someone will make them into reality.

We are working very hard on imagining and building sand castles, things that you never asked for, and that you will never need.

We are a tenacious group and we will eventually deliver something, being it a pizza or a new Amiga computer that is not the point. It might take the whole century but we will.

Bill

Tel: **************** Fax: **************** I haven't got one so if there is a kind person who would like to donate a phone or a fax, please let these guys know because I haven't got an email address either.

Last edited by TheDaddy on 06-Oct-2007 at 04:46 PM.
Last edited by TheDaddy on 06-Oct-2007 at 04:40 PM.
Last edited by TheDaddy on 06-Oct-2007 at 12:42 PM.

_________________
www.loriano.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

@TheDaddy

The next Pulitzer Prize is yours!

_________________
Modern Retro Experience

@AmiKit

Thanks! I am glad you enjoyed it.

A bit of satire can only help.

_________________
www.loriano.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

@TheDaddy

_________________
Philippe 'Elwood' Ferrucci
Sam460 1.10 Ghz
AmigaOS 4 betatester
Amiga Translator Organisation

@TheDaddy

Quote:

Yes, we talked about this and we agreed that indeed I need to meet Moana and take her out for dinner. I have been told that she is a really nice lady. I don't know about the other stuff...

HAHAHA project moana!!

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Add ME!! http://myspace.com/thisis_sam

Community

AmigaInc

Kicko

Last edited by Kicko on 06-Oct-2007 at 12:03 PM.

@TheDaddy

Try to show respect to other peopel!!

Last edited by linnar on 08-Oct-2007 at 11:49 AM.

_________________
There are very interesting in all languages.
http://www.kensonpro.com
Program, codes for websites, hifi, measuring instruments and more. The site is of more than 1200 pages and nearly 3Gb .

@linnar

>>Try to show repect to other peopel!!

I was wondering how long it was going to take for someone with no sense of humour to show up.......and there YOU are.

You have just made a fool of yourself. Brilliant!

Last edited by TheDaddy on 06-Oct-2007 at 12:27 PM.

_________________
www.loriano.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

linnar:
How much respect do amigainc give amiga community with all statements that never happened ? Or you just love to wait some more years ?

@Kicko

I could have not put it better...thanks

Last edited by TheDaddy on 06-Oct-2007 at 12:50 PM.

_________________
www.loriano.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

@linnar

By the way it's a funny piece, I would advice you to print it out and read it calmly with a OS5 powered cup of coffee, you might smile.

_________________
www.loriano.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

@Thread

THIS is what is known as satire. Please understand that in times of stress, some 'gallows' humour is much needed. Thank you, TheDaddy, for supplying it for us to peruse, to amuse.

@linnar
You didn't honestly think he was *serious*, now did you?

_________________
¤¤ Official Hyperion Zealot ¤¤

(No, I didn't type that with a straight face.)

@Yo

Thanks.

Of course I want Amiga back to its greatness, we all want that, I wouldn't be here otherwise. I have been an Amiga user since 1985 and Commodore user since 1983. This is about having a laugh, please don't take it too seriuosly.

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www.loriano.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

@TheDaddy

ROFL

@jthomas

I know it's bad laughing at your own jokes but I was really lauhging out loud whilst writing that!

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www.loriano.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

@TheDaddy

Very funny indeed.

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---------
AmigaClyde

µA1-C 750GX@800 using OS4.1

@TheDaddy

Funnnny stuff, thanks


Quote:

@linnar

Who?


Plaz

Very nice. hehe
OS5? And where's OS4? has been lost in the way?
And Fleecy, does he works for Amiga, what's his task? to dream
Amiga delivers something?
Who stupid man could believe all of this fake?
Amiga is a ####ing #### since Escom bankruptcy

@All

It is pretty obvious we are all very tired of waiting. 7 years! 7 long, painful years full of empty promises!

_________________
www.loriano.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

@TheDaddy

Ah ah ah. Brilliant!

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ikir